Connecticut Suppresses PVRD WMD, 88-22

HOLYOKE, MA — The all-star squad of the Connecticut Rollergirls, the Stepford Sabotage, pitched a perfect shutout in the first half of their Saturday night match with hosting Pioneer Valley Western Mass Destruction. Pioneer Valley couldn’t get on the board until the opening jam of the second half, by which point the score was already 47-0, and Connecticut claimed their first win in a year by a final score of 88-22.

Throughout the first half, Connecticut repeatedly established control of the front and  were able to control the pace and position of the pack, while Pioneer Valley’s defense looked a little disorganized. The CT lead didn’t come on blowout jams, but more small-ball based around calling jams with a few points … a strategy that was particularly useful given the fact that Pioneer Valley was only able to claim lead jammer on three out of the first half’s 13 jams, all for Nora Morse.

CT had their biggest jam of the first half on the second jam, where Milla Lowlife scampered for a 10-0 double grand slam with the help of a timely jammer takeout by teammate Luciana Pulverotti on PVRD jammer Chickadee Struction. CT took lead on the opening five jams and had a 22-0 lead before Nora Morse finally got a lead jam for PVRD in a chaotic jam, but Nora would have to call it before scoring points after being taken down.

The CT defensive dominance continued, particularly illustrated on jam 9 where a wall of Doomcake, Revengela and Parker Poison once again forced Nora to call a rare PVRD lead jam with no points. CT held a 31-0 lead at that point, and got three straight lead jam calls and 16 more points to end the half at 47 against a goose egg for the home team.

Western Mass Destruction looked more energized than demoralized as the second half started, as they picked up lead jammer on the opening four jams of the half  — helped out by CT starting the half with two blockers in the box, allowing PVRD jammer Bloodbath and Beyond to get the home team on the board with a 2-1. In the third jam of the half, CT jammer Violet Riot took a trip to the box, and PVRD’s Chickadee Struction pulled a grand slam behind effective offensive blocking from Beast Infection to make it 48-7 for Connecticut.

Unfortunately for Pioneer Valley, their nascent rally was doubled on the following jam, as a CT pack featuring C Mya Rage, Chelsea Grin and Miz Con SepJen totally had PVRD jammer Bloodbath and Beyond’s number. She’d get sent to the sport court by each of them while opposing jammer Doomcake raced for two slams on the way to a 14-0 that made it 62-7.

CT went on to score in every remaining jam of the bout, including a big 10-0 for in an only-in-roller-derby matchup of Pearl Jammer against Clam Jammer. PVRD, on the other hand, was only able to score in back-to-back jams once throughout the contest, and at the end of the 40 minutes, CT had claimed a very solid 88-22 victory.


Pioneer Valley relied on a 3 jammer rotation of Nora Morse (11 points on 11 jams, with 7 lead jammer calls), Bloodbath & Beyond (6 points on 6 jams, with 2 lead jammer calls), and Chickadee Struction (5 points, 4 jams, 1 lead jammer call.) Beast Infection jammed once in each half, but did not score or claim lead jammer; Clam Jammer jammed once in the second half but also couldn’t get on the board.

CT relied mostly on 2 jammers, Pearl Jammer and Milla Lowlife. Scoring was led by Pearl Jammer with 36 points on 9 jams and 7 lead jammer calls, and Milla had 19 points on 7 jams, with 2 lead jam calls. Doomcake made the most of her single jam, picking up lead and 14 points. Eleanor Bruisevelt jammed 4 jams for 13 points and 2 lead jam calls, while Chelsea Grin, impressive with both the jam star and in the pack, got 6 points on her two jams but grabbed lead on both. There was also a single scoreless jam for Violet Riot.

Connecticut takes on Suburbia Roller Derby in Suburbia’s first WFTDA sanctioned bout on Friday, June 19 — that’s the opening bout for a highly anticipated clash between #1 Gotham and #4 Texas later that same night. Pioneer Valley is next in action on July 11, with opponents still to be determined.

Photos: Margaret “Xena Paradox” Hart
Additional reporting: Jetta von Diesel, Rhoda Perdition, Xena Paradox