Dutchland defeats Long Island for first WFTDA win, 206-75

LANCASTER, PA — On June 13th, the Dutchland Rollers‘ All-Stars hosted the Long Island Roller Rebels‘ All Star squad for a WFTDA-sanctioned bout at Overlook Rink in Lancaster, PA.  The Long Island visitors (13th in WFTDA’s East Region) most recently beat out the Green Mountain Derby Dames 161-89 in May, but lost to the Jersey Shore All-Stars the month before by 154-94.  

The Dutchland crew (not yet WFTDA ranked) had experienced a string of losses, 103-69 last month at the hands of Maine‘s Port Authorities (9th in WFTDA’s East), and a 230-82 blow out delivered in April by Steel City Derby Demons‘ Steel Hurtin’ (#6 in WFTDA’s East).  Long Island had faced the Steel City crew back in March with a similar fate, losing 233-70.  Tonight, Dutchland’s Rollers were driven to secure their first WFTDA-sanctioned win and were finally able to do so, besting Long Island 206-75.
Photo by Jim Rhoades

First Half

The game started with Long Island’s C-Roll jamming against Dutchland’s Twisted Scizzors.  Scizzors quickly picked up lead jammer, but was sent to the box on a major cut track after scooping up one point, while C-Roll fought her way through the pack and put up 4 points for Long Island.  Jam 2 saw a repeat as Dutchland’s Spawna Skatin’ obtained lead jammer status only to be sent to the box for a major cut track; however, Long Island’s Amaretto Sourpuss would not be so lucky and would remain scoreless as Dutchland’s blockers refused to let her escape the pack.  

Cole Slaughter took the jammer line for Dutchland against C-Roll, with C-Roll earning lead after Slaughter got a cut track major, Dutchland again watching their jammer go to the box for the third consecutive jam.  C-Roll was able to score 4 points until she also was called for a cut track major; Slaughter was immediately released and put 5 quick points on the board for Dutchland before being sent to the box again, catching another cut track major.  The jam ended and an official time out was called to sort out the mess in the box.

Jam 4 started with C-Roll exiting the box and Slaughter serving another full minute.  C-Roll was able to obtain lead jammer status and score 3 points in time to call it off before Slaughter could make it to the pack upon leaving the box.  The score stood 11-6 in Long Island’s favor and would be their last lead of the night.  In jam 5, Spawna Skatin’ returned and was able to not only stay out of the penalty box, but put 8-0 over Long Island’s Muscles Marinara.  Twisted Scizzors also stayed out of the box, putting 14-0 over C-Roll, followed by Dutchland’s White Thrash delivering 15-0 over Long Island’s Tailgunner Flo.

Spawna continued the pain putting up another 9 points in jam 8 while her blockers continued to shut out the Long Island jammer.  Going into jam 9, Dutchland held a nice lead 52-11.  Cole Slaughter grabbed 9 points over Amaretto Sourpuss’s 3, despite Sourpuss obtaining LJ; followed by a high scoring jam as Dutchland’s Lapcat put up an impressive 17 points, C-Roll grabbing 8 of her own in jam 10.  

Jam 11 saw Twisted Scizzors put another 9-0 over Amaretto Sourpuss before being sent to the box.  Dutchland’s pack was able to keep Long Island jammer, Tailgunner Flo at bay in jam 12 as they waiting for Scizzors to rejoin the game, which she did once again grabbing lead jammer and scoring another unanswered 4 points.  White Thrash scored 8-1 over Long Island’s Celtic Thunder who was able to earn one point before being sent to the box for track cut.  Thunder returned in the next jam and snuck in 2 more points while Cole Slaughter was in the process of an 18 point jam as Dutchland’s score broke a hundred.

The final jam of the period, jam 15, would see Spawna score 4-3 over Amaretto Sourpuss, leaving it 120-28 at the half in the home team’s favor.
Photo by Jim Rhoades

Second Half

Beginning period two, Dutchland’s White Thrash put a 7-0 over Long Island’s Amaretto Sourpuss.  C-Roll was able to put some points up for Long Island in jam 2 as she earned 3-2 over Spawna Skatin’.  Cole Slaughter put another 8 points up for Dutchland while Amaretto Sourpuss grabbed 6 of her own before being sent to the box for a major cut track.  
She returned in jam 4 to match Twisted Scizzors with 4-4. Spawna Skatin’ and Muscles Marinara both found themselves scoreless in jam 5 as Long Island’s blockers started to effectively lock it down.  

Long Island’s rise would continue in the next jam as C-Roll delivered 10-3 over Cole Slaughter followed by Amaretto Sourpuss earning a 4-2 over Spawna Skatin in the next jam.  The jam ended as Sourpuss was laid out by Dutchland team captain,Treasure Chest, who was subsequently ejected as a result of a second high hit.  Scizzors returned unhappy with Long Island’s success and put a 5-0 down on Celtic Thunder.   Cole Slaughter took 8-4 over Tailgunner Flo.

Dutchland’s jammers then piled a total of 19 points on the board during the next 5 jams while Long Island remained scoreless.  During the run, Dutchland’s blockers seemed to rotate out of the box for penalties regularly and were still able to hold down the pack with 2 blockers.  Twisted Scizzors sealed the run over Long Island with a 17 point shut out in jam 14, putting the score to 195-59 in her team’s favor.  

C-Roll took the track and grabbed a much needed 9 points, however Dutchland’s Cole Slaughter was able to grab 8 of her own as the crowd went wild over Dutchand breaking the 200-point mark.  Long Island continued to outscore Dutchland in the final two jams with Amaretto Sourpuss putting up a 4-3 and C-Roll ending the game with 3-0.  Final score, Dutchland wins 206-75.
Photo by Jim Rhoades


Leading Dutchland in points was Twisted Scizzors with a total of 63 points, closely followed by Cole Slaughter with 62 who had the highest single scoring jam with 18 points.  White Thrash had 34, Spawna Skatin’ earned 30, and Lapcat rounded it out with 17.  Dutchland’s jammers obtained lead status 63% of the time.

Working the pack for Dutchland was O’Chit, Jolene Jawbreaker, Rachel Slur, Josie Cuervo, Treasure Chest, Mary That Motha OH GOD!, Bunny McBones, Hillbilly Hellcat, and Marie Antoithreat.  Twisted Scizzors and Treasure Chest led Dutchland for penalties with 6 minutes in the box each, although as mentioned Treasure was ejected during the second period.  Overall, Dutchland was assigned 72 minors and 25 majors.
C-Roll was Long Island’s most effective jammer, earning a total of 44 points and her team’s highest single scoring jam with 10 points.  Also on the board was Amaretto Sourpuss with 24 points, Tailgunner Flo with 4, and Celtic Thunder with 3.  Long Island’s jammers had lead jammer status 28% of the time.

Also blocking for Long Island was Violet Knockout, Chest Blockwell, Mad Donna, D-Ball, Eve L. Taco, Carnage Electra, Cyanide Kisses, Muscles Marinara, and Mean Frostine.  Penalties were evenly spread among the Long Island squad with 4 of their skaters earning 3 trips to the box each.  Total penalties for Long Island was 61 minors and 25 majors.

Looking forward

Next up, the Long Island Roller Rebels visit the Suburbia Roller Derby in Yonkers, NY on August 29th.  Dutchland All-Stars will face the Cape Fear Rollergirls for some challenge bout action at the East Coast Derby Extravaganza in Feasterville, PA on June 28th. 

Photos: Jim Rhoades