Connecticut Suppresses PVRD WMD, 88-22

HOLYOKE, MA — The all-star squad of the Connecticut Rollergirls, the Stepford Sabotage, pitched a perfect shutout in the first half of their Saturday night match with hosting Pioneer Valley Western Mass Destruction. Pioneer Valley couldn’t get on the board until the opening jam of the second half, by which point the score was already 47-0, and Connecticut claimed their first win in a year by a final score of 88-22.

Throughout the first half, Connecticut repeatedly established control of the front and  were able to control the pace and position of the pack, while Pioneer Valley’s defense looked a little disorganized. The CT lead didn’t come on blowout jams, but more small-ball based around calling jams with a few points … a strategy that was particularly useful given the fact that Pioneer Valley was only able to claim lead jammer on three out of the first half’s 13 jams, all for Nora Morse.

CT had their biggest jam of the first half on the second jam, where Milla Lowlife scampered for a 10-0 double grand slam with the help of a timely jammer takeout by teammate Luciana Pulverotti on PVRD jammer Chickadee Struction. CT took lead on the opening five jams and had a 22-0 lead before Nora Morse finally got a lead jam for PVRD in a chaotic jam, but Nora would have to call it before scoring points after being taken down.

The CT defensive dominance continued, particularly illustrated on jam 9 where a wall of Doomcake, Revengela and Parker Poison once again forced Nora to call a rare PVRD lead jam with no points. CT held a 31-0 lead at that point, and got three straight lead jam calls and 16 more points to end the half at 47 against a goose egg for the home team.

Western Mass Destruction looked more energized than demoralized as the second half started, as they picked up lead jammer on the opening four jams of the half  — helped out by CT starting the half with two blockers in the box, allowing PVRD jammer Bloodbath and Beyond to get the home team on the board with a 2-1. In the third jam of the half, CT jammer Violet Riot took a trip to the box, and PVRD’s Chickadee Struction pulled a grand slam behind effective offensive blocking from Beast Infection to make it 48-7 for Connecticut.

Unfortunately for Pioneer Valley, their nascent rally was doubled on the following jam, as a CT pack featuring C Mya Rage, Chelsea Grin and Miz Con SepJen totally had PVRD jammer Bloodbath and Beyond’s number. She’d get sent to the sport court by each of them while opposing jammer Doomcake raced for two slams on the way to a 14-0 that made it 62-7.

CT went on to score in every remaining jam of the bout, including a big 10-0 for in an only-in-roller-derby matchup of Pearl Jammer against Clam Jammer. PVRD, on the other hand, was only able to score in back-to-back jams once throughout the contest, and at the end of the 40 minutes, CT had claimed a very solid 88-22 victory.


Pioneer Valley relied on a 3 jammer rotation of Nora Morse (11 points on 11 jams, with 7 lead jammer calls), Bloodbath & Beyond (6 points on 6 jams, with 2 lead jammer calls), and Chickadee Struction (5 points, 4 jams, 1 lead jammer call.) Beast Infection jammed once in each half, but did not score or claim lead jammer; Clam Jammer jammed once in the second half but also couldn’t get on the board.

CT relied mostly on 2 jammers, Pearl Jammer and Milla Lowlife. Scoring was led by Pearl Jammer with 36 points on 9 jams and 7 lead jammer calls, and Milla had 19 points on 7 jams, with 2 lead jam calls. Doomcake made the most of her single jam, picking up lead and 14 points. Eleanor Bruisevelt jammed 4 jams for 13 points and 2 lead jam calls, while Chelsea Grin, impressive with both the jam star and in the pack, got 6 points on her two jams but grabbed lead on both. There was also a single scoreless jam for Violet Riot.

Connecticut takes on Suburbia Roller Derby in Suburbia’s first WFTDA sanctioned bout on Friday, June 19 — that’s the opening bout for a highly anticipated clash between #1 Gotham and #4 Texas later that same night. Pioneer Valley is next in action on July 11, with opponents still to be determined.

Photos: Margaret “Xena Paradox” Hart
Additional reporting: Jetta von Diesel, Rhoda Perdition, Xena Paradox

PVRD & Connecticut Meet in Men’s/Women’s Doubleheader

HOLYOKE, MA — The ladies and gentlemen of Northhampton, MA’s Pioneer Valley Roller Derby play host to their sisters and brothers of Connecticut, as the Connecticut Rollergirls and the Connecticut Death Quads men’s team rolls in town to face PVRD’s female squad, Western Mass Destruction, and the male team, the Dirty Dozen.

PVRD Dirty Dozen vs. Death Quads

The opening bout serves as a rematch of arguably the biggest upset in the relatively short history of the men’s flat-track game. In April of this year, the boys of the Death Quads were not only winless in 4 outings, they’d been punished by lopsided margins each time — 123-35 to Pioneer Valley in the Death Quads’ 40 minute debut, 193-13 to the New York Shock Exchange in a 60 minute bout, 72-23 to Baltimore’s Harm City Homicide in a 20 minute expo, and 145-29 again to the Homicide in a 40 minute bout.

But the Connecticut crew clearly learned something from those beatings and stunned the boys of the Dirty Dozen with a heavily defensive 49-46 victory in 40 minutes for their first win. The Dirty Dozen will be looking for revenge this time out, while the Death Quads intend to prove that their victory was not a fluke. CTDQ stands at 1-1 for 2009 with that January loss to the Homicide, while the Dirty Dozen is 0-2, having lost to the still-undefeated New York Shock Exchange in May.

As has been their wont for most of their existence, the Dirty Dozen rolls in with a roster short of an actual dozen. Their longtime jamming core of Jurasskick Park, Dr. Spankenstein and Davy Jones remains intact, and newer players Fresh Eddie Fresh, Will Jettison and Brutus Priest are stepping to up refresh the talent pool. Blockers The Rev, Bazooka Joe and Rollin’ Redshirt fill out the Dirty Nine.

The Death Quads have one player up on their hosts, bringing 10 players. New-ish additions to the team include Will Whomp-Ya and Zakk Sabbath, neither of whom played in January against the Homicide. The ace jammer Johnny Holeshot co-captains his team along with imposing blocker Skatebreed, and history suggests that Pastor of Muppets and Cirkle Jerk will be shouldering jamming duties with Holeshot.

B. Radd #643 // Cirkle Jerk #19 // Nizz #51 // Pastor Of Muppets #42 // Sergeant Major #175 // Stoneman #665 // Willy Whomp-Ya #71 // Zakk Sabbath #4 // Johnny Holeshot #30- co-captain // Skatebreed #121- captain

Bazooka Joe #49 // Brutus Priest #39 // Davy Jones #78 // Dr. Spankenstein #113v (Captain) // Fresh Eddie Fresh #<3 // Jurasskick Park #1993 // Rev #71 // Rollin’ Redshirt #1955 // Will Jettison #VF-84

PVRD Western Mass Destruction vs. Stepford Sabotage

The ladies’ half of the night is also a rematch of an extremely close bout, though the last meeting between Western Mass Destruction and the Connecticut Rollergirls was a bit longer ago and featured a mixed team for Connecticut rather than their official all-star team. In that July 2008 bout, Western Mass Destruction took the win by 4 points, the final score 47 to 43.  Connecticut’s Stepford Sabotage is currently officially ranked #11 in a tough WFTDA East Region (PVRD is ineligible for WFTDA membership due to including a men’s division.)

The Stepford Sabotage have not seen much public action this year, playing their only bout so far in January against Pittsburgh’s Steel Hurtin’ — it proved to be a rough bout for Connecticut, who lost 149-33. Despite a large score differential early in the bout, Sabotage had determination, but it was no match for the strong defense of Steel City. Milla Lowlife was the first jammer to put points on the board for CT early in the bout, but it took almost the entire first period for the Sabotage to reach double digits.

The Sabotage went into this bout with a short roster of only 9 skaters, and lost Girl Fawkes to an ACL injury in the second jam. While it’s hard to say how much an effect a short roster has on the outcome of a bout, it is worth noting that the Stepford Sabotage played all but 1.5 jams of the bout with only 8 skaters, missing a key offensive player in jammer Black Cherry as well as the blocking skills of Fawkes and Luciana Pulverotti. While Fawkes is still out due to her knee injury, both Cherry and Pulverotti are listed on the roster for the bout against PVRD’s Western Mass Destruction.

Black Cherry and Pearl Jammer may be wearing the star panty more often than others on Saturday, but the Sabotage has many options to choose from when it comes to skillful jammers. Milla Lowlife, Eleanor Bruisevelt, C Mya Rage, Doomcake and Chelsea Grin are all quite agile jammers who can be called upon as needed. Where the Sabotage may need to concentrate on Saturday is in the pack, as the women of Pioneer Valley have been quite effective in the pack as of late, playing smart and hitting hard while building walls that stop speedy jammers.

Last we saw the Western Mass Destruction in action they dominated the NJ Hellrazors with a 109-45 win. Nora Morse, Chickadee Struction and Bloodbath & Beyond showed off their jamming skills, treating their fans to grand slams and multiple scoring passes, while their blockers worked effectively in the pack and held NJ to many scoreless jams throughout the bout. WMD blockers also played a smart game using power plays effectively by trapping a NJ blocker, slowing down the pack and giving their jammer ample time to make a number of orbits arount the track, or conversely, successfully speeding up the pack when their jammer was boxed, allowing only a few points to be scored by NJ.  

Ballistic Miss L #720 // Beast Infection #533 // Big Vinny’s Kid #13 // Bitches Bruze #802 // Bloodbath & Beyond #99 // Chickadee Struction #413 // Clam Jammer #7 // Diesel ‘N Gin #25 // Holy Hellga #32 // Juggernaut Bitch #454 // Nora Morse #11 (Co-Captain) // Pink Panzer #88 (Co-Captain) // Router Girl #17

Black Cherry #4 // Chelsea Grin #777 // C Mya Rage #86d // Doomcake #13 // Eleanor Bruisevelt #33 // Ether Bunny #222 // Luciana Pulverotti #110 // Milla Lowlife #40oz // Miz Con SepJen #7 // Parker Poison #3 // Pearl Jammer #G0 // Revengela #1234 // Violet Riot #911

(8E) Steel City Trounces (7E) Connecticut, 149-33

PITTSBURGH, PA —  In the 3rd bout of the Steel City Derby Demons’ travel season, the Steel Hurtin’ (#8 E) hosted Conneticut’s Stepford Sabotage (#7 E.) The Steel Hurtin, fresh from their win in Indianapolis against Naptown (#5 NC), employed a strong defense to consistently hold up the Sabotage’s jammers, leading the Hurtin to a 149-33 victory.

The first period of this January 24 match could have been best summed up by fast packs and nearly impenetrable Pittsburgh defense. The Steel Hurtin showed their incredible defensive walls from the opening whistle of Saturday nights bout.  

The Hurtin took control quickly within the first 5 minutes, with the Crippler putting up a 15-0 jam and Hurricane Heather picking up a huge 19-0. The Sabotage suffered a significant loss when pivot Girl Fawkes suffered a knee injury. Fortunately, she was able to to head back to her to bench under her own power but was out for the rest of the game (and was later found to have a severe ACL injury, putting her out of commission for a few months.)

The CT jammers tried to turn the tide by gaining lead jammer in the next 2 jams. Milla Lowlife used her lead jammer status to CT’s advantage. As she passed blocker Betty Bonecrusher, she called off the jam preventing Steel City’s jammer Cheeseburger to get into scoring postion, getting Connecticut on the boards with a 2-0. But Pittsburgh continued to hold CT at those 2 points while the steady jammer rotation of Hurricane Heather, Cheeseburger, and the Crippler earned 41 pts over the next ten minutes of the period.  

Though the point margin was quickly getting out of hand, the Stepford ladies showed no signs of giving up going into the final jams of the first period. CT’s jammers Eleanor Bruisevelt, Pearl Jammer, and C. Mya Rage combined to finally get Connecticut into the double digits near the end of the half, bringing the score to 86-11.  

With 2:31 left in the first half, jammers Hurricane Heather and Pearl Jammer took off, only to have the referees quickly call off this jam due to debris on the track – it appeared as if someone lost a piece of their skate. Realizing the item belonged to Steel City blocker Betty Bonecrusher, Bench Manager BARF scrambled to quickly rectify the situation. However, the refs still called her on a major penalty, stating she was causing a delay in the game, which caused bit of an uproar from the Hurtin bench and fans.

As she wheeled herself with one skate to the penalty box, her bench managed to hand her a spare skate. Many fans sat in amazement as they watched Bonecrusher squeezing and stomping her foot frantically into said skate – little did the crowd know, the skate she was attempting to wear was several sizes smaller than her own!  By the end of her time served, she managed to curl up her toes to get that skate on and powerhoused her way back out onto the track to finish the jam as well as the half with the Steel Hurtin up 88-15.

The second period of the bout saw the speed of the packs slow down, but the intensity & determination turn up.  The Stepford Sabotage started to chip away at Steel City to see themselves gain some points on the scoreboard.  Over 7 jams the Sabotage were able to go mostly point for point with Steel City — Steel City picked up 21 points while Connecticut notched 15 to double their score and move the total to 109-30.

But with 18:40 to play, that was nearly the end of Connecticut’s offensive production for the evening. Only 3 points would be scored by the visitors while Steel City piled on another 40 for a definitive victory, 149-33.

Steel City next takes aim at Ohio (#7 NC) on February 21. Connecticut has a few months to tune up for a challenge of Texas (#1 SC) on June 19th.

Photos: Neil Gunner

Preview: Charm City & Harm City Defend Baltimore from Multigender Invasion

BALTIMORE, MD — On Saturday, January 17th, the Charm City Roller Girls kick off their fourth season — and their second year at DuBurns Arena — by presenting a special charity doubleheader as both the roller girls and roller boys of Baltimore take on visiting rivals from out of state.

First up, the first-ever 40 minute bout at home for CCRG’s brother team Harm City Homicide finds the boys going up against the Connecticut Death Quads, brother team of the Connecticut Rollergirls.

It’s only the third appearance in Baltimore for the Homicide, who debuted at halftime of the 2007 CCRG championship bout with a 20 minute battle against the New York Shock Exchange and also played the Death Quads at halftime of the 2008 championship. This bout marks the first time the men’s team has gotten equal billing with the girls at home.

Homicide has been active on the road, though, with 2007 and 2008 40-minute bouts against the Pioneer Valley Dirty Dozen of Northampton, Massachusetts and a full-length 60 minute battle with the Shock Exchange — though their only win to date was the halftime match against Connecticut, leaving Homicide 1-4 in public events. The relatively new Death Quads had their first public match in July of 2008, and are currently 0-3 with losses to New York, Pioneer Valley and Harm City.

Although Homicide routed the Death Quads in the 20-minute October matchup, 72-23, the Death Quads were skating with only 6 players against the Homicide’s 11 due to some last-second dropouts. The numbers look to even out a bit this time as Homicide skates without blocker Natty Bones, first-string jammer Deutsch Bag (hamstring injury) or the retired Man Rayge, leaving them with a short roster of 9.

The Death Quads sport a roster of 10, including ace jammer Johnny Holeshot (who did not make the trip in October) and the Rev, on loan from Pioneer Valley Roller Derby. Homicide will be looking for pack contributions from debuting addition Gearhead, while Carnage Asada steps up to help Hung Solo fill the hole in the in the jammer rotation left by D-Bag.

Virginia Slim 523 // Sin Diesel 1* // Justice Feelgood Marshall 1954 // Sex Ed 101 // Magnificent Bastard 1.618 // Hung Solo YT-1300 // Carnage Asada CH4 // Gearhead 77 // Groper Cleavage ∞

Thing A Mabob ? // Pukee Mcgee 0 // Cirkle Jerk 19 // Johnny Holeshot 30 // Pastor of Muppets 42 // Nizz 51 // Skatebreed 121 // Sergeant Major 175 // B.Radd 643 // The Rev 71

In the second bout, Charm City fields a mix of experienced all-star veterans and up-and-coming talents as Female Trouble to take on Poe’s Punishers, the all-star squad of the River City Rollergirls from Richmond, VA.

Like Homicide, the rotating roster of Female Trouble has played a grab bag of variable-length expo bouts — a 20 minute victory over the Mason-Dixon Roller Vixens of Hagerstown, MD, a 20 minute loss to the DC Rollergirls, a 60 minute win over Montreal home team Racaille, a 40 minute loss to Pioneer Valley, and a 60 minute loss to Dutchland Rollers of Lancaster, PA. This iteration of Fem Trou will feature veteran all-star fan favorites like Holly Go Hardly, Frenzy Lohan, Lady Quebeaum and all-star team captain Flo Shizzle joining forces with new blood including 2008 additions Kelly O’ShankU and Flux Incapacitator in the first CCRG action of 2009.
River City went down to four consecutive defeats during their interleague play in 2008 to the Rogue Rollegirls of Fayetteville, NC, New Jersey’s Hub City Hellrazors, the DC Rollergirls, and the Dominion Derby Girls from Virginia Beach. They’ve had a recent shakeup to their league structure, disbanding their home-teams to go to an A-team / B-team model; this is the all-star team’s first bout billed as “Poe’s Punishers.”

The girls from Richmond feature a lightning-fast jammer in captain Paris Kills along with tenacious pivot Devil Bitch and an intense hitter in Terminal Velocity, and all members will be certainly be bringing their best game in hopes of starting 2009 off on a different foot for River City.

Profits from the bout benefit Movable Feast, a local charity that prepares and delivers meals and groceries at no charge to people and their families throughout greater Baltimore and Maryland’s Eastern Shore who are in need and living with HIV/AIDS, cancer and other life-challenging conditions; Doors are at 6pm with the first whistle at 7pm.

Frenzy Lohan 119 // Flux Incapacitator 88 MPH // Flo Shizzle 24-7 // Kelly O’ShankU 9 // Holly Go Hardly 415 // Minnie Piledriver 125psi // Maiden China 99c // Lady Quebeaum 34 // Penaltyna 7 // Harlotte’s Webb 28 // Fatal Attraction 24 // Deathany 666 // Mistress May Eye 10

Paris Kills 69 // Mortician Murphy R.I.P. // Coco Carnage 5 // Raven Darkhold NC-17 // Devil Bitch 1775 // Shake ‘n’ Baker 3-piece // Maliciously Delicious 33 1/3 // Sway 13 // Raci Lords X3 // Terminal Velocity V-t // Ram Jam Betty 1977

Additional reporting: Frenzy Lohan